


Lost

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Closeted Character, Coming Out, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Panic Attacks, Purple Prose, Training Camp, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Nishinoya Yuu, Trans Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:05:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tsukishima is up at five in the morning searching for his lost binder. Good thing Nishinoya and Azumane are up too.





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T EXERCISE IN BINDERS YOU COULD DIE

The fourth time Tsukishima looks through his bags, he isn't sure if he can handle the realization of what happened. He has checked every _single_ place it could be. No matter where he looked, he couldn't find his binder. Gone. Disappeared. Not there. He felt his eyes watering as he finished the check. He tried his hardest to not let his tears escape, but at five in the morning, running on a whopping two and a half hours of sleep, Tsukishima couldn't find it in himself to care. He lost his most prized possession, the thing keeping him from being outed to the whole team, his chest binder. He freely let himself sob, crossing his arms over his chest and curling into a ball.

Apparently, his crying must have been decently loud, because he heard shifting sounds behind him. Looking up slightly, he saw Nishinoya shaking Azumane from where he was beside the third year. The brunette mumbled a small, sleepy "No, no, go back to sleep, Noya." "Asahi," the other whispered urgently, "Tsukishima needs help." In a matter of seconds, the two were at either side of the blond, desperately trying to soothe him.

From his left side, Tsukishima heard a quiet, "What happened?" from Nishinoya. Tsukishima found it hard to speak, simply letting out a pathetic whimper, clutching the front of his shirt. "If we're going to help, Tsukishima," Azumane gently murmured, "you're going to have to tell us what is happening." The middle blocker knew the words were meant to sound encouraging, but they sounded too strict. He could only choke out a pitiful, "I, I can't find," before breaking out into sobs again. Tsukishima's throat was closing up, only letting the plaintive noises escape. He couldn't steady his breathing, or calm his heartbeat, or stop shaking. It was too much for the blond. He let himself slump into Azumane's strong arms, weakly trying to pull himself back to calmness. The brunette wrapped his arms around Tsukishima's stomach, eyes widening when the movement pulled the blond's shirt into a position where his chest was showing more clearly. The older two shared a look of mutual understanding, Nishinoya leaning into to gently capture the younger boy into him, leaning close to his ear so he could clearly be heard.

"Tsukishima," the libero breathed, "focus on my voice. I need you to listen to me, okay?" Tsukishima nodded into his shoulder. "Whatever happened, it does not make you weak, pathetic, or anything like that." Nishinoya knew that it was one of the blond's greatest fears to be seen as those things, so he tried to soothe the thought away. The bicolored boy led Tsukishima back to the beds Nishinoya and Azumane had pushed together. Sitting the taller blocker down gently, he tried the only thing he knew. "I know you might not want to hear this right now, but I'm going to tell you a little secret." Nishinoya wrapped the two blankets around Tsukishima, knowing the warmth would comfort the latter (a secret Yamaguchi had told). "I'm trans. I might understand what you're going through," the libero tipped the middle blocker's head up to make eye contact, "at least a little."

Fresh tears pooled in Tsukishima's eyes, spilling silently as he whispered, "I lost my binder." Azumane nodded slightly, handing the blond a pillow. Tsukishima gladly accepted the offer and pressed the item against his chest. Nishinoya and Azumane tried to make him as comfortable as possible before the latter whispered, "What can we do to help?"

 A small, broken sob escaped Tsukishima's lips. No one had ever cared about him this much. No one had ever tried to comfort him or tried to help him. The two carefully hugged the blond and tried to soothe away the tears, gently rubbing circles on his back and whispering encouraging phrases to him. "Can we just watch _Parks and Rec_ or something?" the blond managed to mumble, voice a little hoarse from crying.

Azumane nodded and smiled slightly, pulling his laptop from his bag and opening Netflix with a small question of, "What episode are you on?"

"Can we start from the beginning?" Tsukishima asked hesitantly.

"Anytime," Nishinoya replied with a small, comforting smile.

The three huddled together on Azumane's bed as the first episode started. Azumane and Nishinoya shared triumphant smiles as Tsukishima visibly relaxed. Being able to comfort the antisocial middle blocker was sure a victory.

* * *

After two episodes and the start of a third, there was shifting from the bed beside them. Sugawara's tired voice muttered a small, "Asahi? Noya? Tsukishima? Why are you guys up already?"

 Nishinoya, not looking up from the laptop screen, mumbled back, "Tsukishima lost something and kinda freaked out."

"Got it. Someone left a chest binder in the locker room yesterday, do you know who it might belong to?" Tsukishima's head shot up, immediately looking back to Sugawara and holding his hand out. "It's mine."

The vice-captain rifled through his bag and threw the black article of clothing at the blond with a tiny question of, "When are you going to tell the rest of the team?"

"Hopefully never," Tsukishima shuddered at the thought of how the rest of the team would react. Kageyama and Hinata would be the worst of the group. They would never let him live it down, even if he got HRT or surgeries in the future.

The white-haired third year groaned as he flopped back down. "I'm going back to sleep, keep it down."

The trio nodded slightly and went back to their episode.

* * *

When everyone else woke up again, apparently Tsukishima would have to come out. It didn't feel right to only hold a secret against three-quarters of the team. The secret felt like a lie, like he had been lying to the group about being truly a boy. Lying generally made him feel like Akiteru, and God help him if he wanted to be like Akiteru.

If he was going to do this, it was going to be subtle. He had brought the bracelet that Yamaguchi made to the training camp with him. Yamaguchi had given it to him two days after he had come out. It took the brunette so long to make. He took hours to tie the blue, pink, and white strings into a chevron trans pride flag just to give it away, and if that wasn't the coolest thing ever, Tsukishima didn't know what was. The bracelet reminded Tsukishima that he was valid and cared for.

He wasn't questioned about it much throughout the day, but having the bracelet on and his binder back made him more confident then he had felt in years. There was no doubt that the team had seen it, but the only reactions he got were small, warm smiles from them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Most people call Asahi by his first name except the first years, and Tsukishima didn't really have any interactions with him, so I just went with Azumane unless it was Noya or Suga talking to him so sorry if that's wrong.


End file.
